Maintenance

My ex has just told me he cant afford to give me any maintenance anymore for my son and I dont know whether I should just accept that thats how it is and pay for everything myself or make a stand. He had asked me at the beginning of the year for a loan of 4k which I said I couldnt afford. He bought an investment property 2 and half years ago and lives in a rented flat. Hes now found that he cant afford to pay the loan for the property, his rent and my sons maintenance - so the maintenance seems to be the thing that has to go! He smokes more in value than he gives me monthly but the money does help me buy treats for my son. What do you suggest? Although we have been separated for some years we never had anything set in stone for the maintenance but he has always paid up until now.

Categories:

Contact / Financial Arrangements

Thankyou for your reply.

Submitted by trying hard on Mon, 2010-02-08 07:35.

Thankyou for your reply. I'll take your advice. Sometimes its very hard to make the right decisions without letting your emotions affect them.

What would I do? My

Submitted by emily on Thu, 2010-02-04 20:05.

What would I do? My philosophy is ‘pick your battles’ by which I mean find compromises as often as possible and accommodate as much as you can as it’s the path of least resistance and makes everyone’s life easier and less stressful. Also if you’re on the best terms possible with your ex then your children’s relationship with them will be the best they can be too. If you can manage without the money then agree to it while things are difficult for him – on the understanding that as it is spent on things for your son that it restarts as soon as he can, and he views it as his first priority to start again. If you need all of the payment, or some of it, then you’re going to have to talk to him about it and explain why it’s needed so he can understand. But please don’t make it into an argument because not being able to pay maintenance seems to be one of the main reasons why dads disappear and you really don’t want that so please work together on this. Lots of luck Emily